For once, I am not going to blog and rant and cry about how anyone whose name that starts with "J" has ruined my life, yet again. While that did happen in the past two weeks, I'm choosing not to focus on it. I'll mention it but that's as far as it goes.
Last week was the scariest week of my life. It's funny because I've learned since I was old enough to have a Myspace to not meet strangers on the internet, but, damnit, I'm 20 years old and want to meet new people! It's this stupid app called "Tinder" where you make totally biased decisions on whether or not you will like someone based on their pictures. Admittedly, I loved it until last weekend. When my friend K and I decided to meet some guys that we found on this Godforsaken app that were up for the weekend. I put my trust in the fact that her roommate, J4 (who I had spent the last couple of nights with hooking up at 4 am) would be there and everything would be fine with me, K, and these six strangers. Wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong.
I'm not going to go into detail, it's not worth your time or mine, really. I've already written about it in a journal I keep hidden. Somehow, it helps me to cope. It's a long, confusing, terrible story and I'm not even sure I understand all aspects of it. I spent all of last week trying to figure it out. Trying to eat, sleep, and socialize like a normal human. What ended up happening was one meal a day, sleeping during the day, and the inability to focus on anything except what had happened. My GPA will take a hit, no doubt.
Alright. That's done.
I'll give the brief rundown of the J's. J4 and I are no longer seeing each other (he abandoned me that night when I needed him AND he slept with a friend of mine.) Granted, I knew he was a man-whore before sleeping with him but he's too fucking charming and good-looking and he knows how to play women. Over him.
My ex-boyfriend, J1, and I are no longer speaking. He was a selfish asshole who wouldn't forgive me for not going to his place to hang out after that night last week. He was so mad he deleted me on facebook (really showed me) so I'm over him easily enough. I can't even be mad at him for deleting me on facebook though. I was on the other side of a break-up once and the last thing I wanted to do was see him and his new girlfriend happily post on each others walls. I needed a break. I'm just mad that he is a selfish douchebag.
But there is hope for me! His name is T. He's one of the nicest guys I've met in a long time. He's been with me through this entire process, making sacrifices to make sure I was okay. I couldn't sleep last week: He came over and made a snowman with me at midnight. I was stressed out of my mind: He went for a run with me. I came home from the hospital after that night: He showed up, unexpectedly, to make sure I was okay (knowing I would tell him not to come if he had told me). He even spent the night last night with me, in my bed. We didn't get much sleep (it was 80 degrees in my room and the extra body made it impossible to get comfortable) but it was enjoyable just to have someone who understands and cares. We're taking it slow.
Real slow.
I still need time to heal. Spring break countdown: 4 days. Albany countdown: 11 days.
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